ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY...

i believe that when someone has hurt you once, you tend to avoid that person. so am i. that thing happened when i was in form 3 in secondary school. i still remember clearly what had happened. i forgave her already but until today i still can't forget that moment and i will never forget it for the rest of my life. she was my very best friends. at that time, i had a crush on one of my classmate. he's my first love. he was a good looking boy but that's not the reason why i like him. i like him  because of his behavior. he was very well-manner person. because i was very excited, i told my very best friend about my feeling. she gave positive response for me. she was as happy as i felt at that time. i was extremely happy because i got someone to share my first love story with. i kept liking that boy until one day i heard that he already had girlfriend. my heart sank. i felt extremely sad and disappoint at the same time even though i never confess to him that i like him. at first i didn't who was his girlfriend. i don't even want to know who she was because it'll making me depressed. i told myself to forget him even i know it was never an easy task. to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never know. i kept studying hard and did something interesting to ignore my feelings but it didn't work. you have no idea how hurt i was because i even got 'C' for the first time in my history paper for mid year exam. i felt that something was going wrong with my best friend that i share my story before. she was showing her awkwardness towards me. when we were together, she talked less to me and always avoiding my eyes. i wonder why. few days later, one if my friends told ma that my first love's girlfriend was my best friend. my heart sank again. i felt sad not because she stole my first love but because she was not being honest with me. i was angry because she not the one whom told me about it. even i was sad and angry, i still can forgive her. one night, i asked her why did she did this to me. i even told her that i like him but she still want to have him. she was the one confessing her love towards him first. she asked for my forgiveness that night while crying heavily. i accepted her apology with open heart.  it's okay maybe he was not the one for me so God protected my feeling from being dumped by him. i had decide to just be friend with him. that night end peacefully after we forgive each other mistake. i kept doing my daily life as usual but one day, my friend told me that my best friend was not happy enough seeing my friendship withe her boyfriend. i was shocked as before she was the one told me that i can still be friend with him. that night, she exploded, forgetting her promise towards me. she shouted at me loudly saying that i was flirting with her boyfriend when i was not at all. i asked her to clam down and discussed properly but she refused. she kept attacking me until i cried really hard. i was extremely shocked, disappoint and sad being accused by my own best friend. i can't even stand up properly because i was losing my strength. i felt like my heart was going to burst. she never let me explain about it. one of her friends was being on her side attacking me together. in my life, i never shouted to anyone even i was really angry. but that night, i shouted at her friend because i don't like her to involve in our problem. she knew nothing but accusing me. because we need to attend biology's class, we had to stop. i cried on the way to class because i didn't expect thing will going this worst. before the class started, she asked for my apology. i think she was feeling guilty for what she had done to me. at first, it was really hard to forgive her but after thinking for a while i realized that two best friends should fight over a boy. we have to protect our precious friendship. then i forgave her but it took a while for me to get close with her like before. i tried as hard as i can to avoid her because she gave me a very deep and hurt scar on my heart that i will never forget for the rest of my life. until today, we are still good friend but not good as before anymore. i even avoid her boyfriend and we never talked to each other for about 3 years even we were good friend before. i already forgave her. but until today i keep avoiding her when there's a matter regarding  man, love and herself. i'm afraid that that black moment of us might happen again. last year, i heard that she already broke up with him. i was sad because we were fighting over him but she end up clash with him. i always pray that she will has a happy ending with him but now it's impossible. me myself, i already forget my feeling towards him. i hope for the best for both of them even they are not a couple anymore. i'm happy if they are happy. that's the best for all of us. i accepted everything with my open heart.